i platonically want to cuddle you all
creapy: sAR, uH„ is my kawaii egyptian pharaoh, the whatest babhaabhiat I know. Nothing can stand between our mutual johndave shipping, a force that, when concentrated could push our sun into another point in time, creating a point in time where two suns existed in the same spot, which would be admittedly pretty fucking badass but really hot. I get all doki and anime whenever I talk to her and I recently showed her the true meaning of Canada. I’ve been following Sarah longer than any o’ y’all bakas
and am secretly madly in love with her
fuckingbono: Dorothy is my Soul Sister. We are a single human being, a perfect, genderless entity whose soul was torn asunder and planted within two human bodies, one biologically male and the other biologically female. It was prophesied by the Ancient Ones that only once every hundred millennia is this phenomenon observed in our Universe, and that when the stars align while a full moon is being viewed by both halves of The Chosen One,
something special will take place
om-nom-chompsky: Without Rachel I wouldn’t be here. Literally. She gives birth to me in about 6 years and I am sent back in time 570 years shortly following my birth, but let’s not get into that right now. Rachel is my IRL friend who got me into tumblr in the first place, when I was a confused, scared little pokemon/glee blog. She has large breasts, and this is a defining quality among my group of friends for some reason? But I can see past (or through?) the breast to the True Heart contained within. <3u4ever
locally-famous: Ea is my adorable little gypsy friend. She’s a total hardass thug, and if you mess with her, her posse of Nelson bush hippies will probably fuck you up. She is my seer and mentor in my quest to understand the true meaning of #YOLO, a spiritual concept that sees a lot of judgment and persecution throughout the world. She has contracted me to direct her funeral when she dies. I like to hang out with her because she has a nice booty.
tinybackpack: Hannah is my most loyal follower. She has a really kawaii tumblr theme and an even more kawaii etsy store. She’s like the only person who likes my blog and is the only person who noticed when I took leave for a few days to visit my dad and stopped posting without notice. She is the FIRST MATE of my posse, The Lad Crew.
iinsouciance: Scott is my hardcore friend. He lives life on the MOTHERFUCKING edge, and you know why? Because he doesn’t give a goddamn, pisslicking fuck. He has the coolest hands you have ever heard of, and DOES EVERY DRUG and has reached EVERY KNOWN STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, human or otherwise. He listens to LOUD music that is ANGRY. He has a lot of HAIR on his HEAD.
he secretly wants my meat rod
aatthew: Matt is the Top Nicki Minaj blog on tumblr. It’s irrefutable. I’ve been following him since I started tumblr; he was one of my first favorite blogs, and back when I first followed him he was mostly a Pokemon blog. Now he’s all about Nicki and Homestuck. He is my adorable ethnic minority friend (am i allowed to even call you my friend we never talk?), and even though we never really talk and only sometimes reblog or like eachother’s posts, I feel like I have a deep, passionate connection to him (FOLLOW 5EVER)
midworldlanes: This is my Spirit Animal, Greg. Birds of a feather fly together.
anon: I’m so sorry I forgot to include you, anon! I get more messages in my ask from you than anyone else, even if most of them are trying to get me to go to some weird website (I usually just ignore them, actually… sorry!). Follow4ever.